Earth Visit Report

I’m Weeaboo. I’m four hundred twenty years old. My home planet, Memeblox, is located in the galaxy “The Snicker”. I like being lazy, bored, and overall not really care too much about anything.

I was sent by my government, Meme Blox United (MBU) to assess and analyze a new extraterrestrial species, the humans. MBU has told me to report what humans eat, how they look and act differently than us Memebloxians, and most importantly find organisms with a unique culture. I have landed in this place known as Burlingame Intermediate school (BIS), which lucky for me, because I hate actually having to do my job, is already rich with diversity and culture.

My observations so far on this peculiar planet are very different from Memeblox, yet still similar. The first drastic difference I have spotted so far is their amount of appendages. The humans have only four, located on the same parts of their torso and waist as we do on ours.  They do not have the extra two appendages sprouting from their lower back like we Memebloxians do though. The human’s diets are also strange but similar. They consist of numerous strange and disgusting items, like “burgers” and “pizza”. The humans still have the same food groups as us Memebloxians though, except they give them hideous names like proteins and vegetables. Ew.

The humans, unlike us, seem to be heavily influenced by their peers. They act a certain way if everyone else is doing it. It’s a very different practice than on Memeblox, where everyone only needs to please themselves. This species also wear very different clothing than the Bapereme that residents of Memeblox wear. I’ve noticed a lot of clothing covered in strange writing, like these characters, NIKE and adidas. Humans diets are often influenced mostly because of their tastes. I see many of them drinking and eating things that taste sweet. Memebloxians, especially myself, hate the taste of sweet. It must be a strange preference that this species has.

Overall these humans were actually almost, almost, a joy to observe. Their diversity and differences from one another were amazing. The sheer culture was astounding. I must return to Memeblox, but before I go, I have some advice for you humans. The practice you do in the “bathrooms” where the unneeded nutrition you eat comes out of your behind. Please discontinue it. It’s disgusting.alien.png